[RL with Tieria - Damage Control Part 2 - futuredated to next week]

[lockon2urheart]

[It had been about a month since Lockon had first woken up, and he figured it was finally time to visit the last of his three comrades. It had surely been enough time for Tieria to stabilise - he'd been warned away from shocking him a while ago, after all - and he couldn't in good conscience leave him in the dark any more.

Hence why he was standing in the reception of Mikaela's school, asking if they could send for Ila van der Aart (Who'd come up with that name, anyway?) as soon as possible. He wasn't worried about interrupting her education, as the receptionist had frowned at him, and he gave her a sheepish grin and told her some things were important.

Then she'd asked for his name, so she'd know who was pulling her out, and he'd only hesitated for a moment. As he said "Lockon Stratos", he'd hoped that it wouldn't shock Tieria too badly before he'd even had a chance to see him, but it was all-too clear that 'a friend' wouldn't pass muster with the receptionist. She'd nodded at an office runner to go fetch Ila, while Lockon waited.

Said runner knocked on the classroom door once, then opened it.]

Sorry to interrupt, Mr Pemberly, but I've got a message for Ila. There's a visitor in reception for her, someone called Lockon Stratos, and she's to come see him as soon as possible. It's apparently important.

Comments

[nonesodangerous.livejournal.com]

[Tieria didn't want to say anything, but Lockon was right. It was partly his fault. Tieria actually felt that it was largely Lockon's fault that nobody felt like smiling much anymore, but he would never let him know that. And it was hugely Lockon's fault that Tieria didn't want to smile anymore.

That was unfair, actually. It was hardly Lockon's fault that Tieria had ended up with some stupid kind of feelings for him, had ended up pinning most of his hopes on him.

...was it?]

What do you think?

[He hadn't said it sarcastically. He honestly wanted to know what Lockon thought about the entire situation. He wanted to see just how guilty Lockon felt.]

[lockon2urheart]

[Lockon sighed. This last month had been tiring, both physically (if he ever saw another physiotherapist, it would be too soon) and emotionally. Every person he'd seen had been affected by ...everything that had happened, by his near-death, by that last battle that he'd missed. He'd been cried on, fainted on, hugged, shouted at, had his own existence disbelieved...

And he did blame himself for their emotionally fraught states. For the physical damage. And for the deaths of two of their friends. Intellectually he knew that he alone couldn't have turned the tide of battle and saved them all, he wasn't that egocentric, but it was the eternal what if. What if he'd been there? Would they have been able to put up a greater fight, and kept themselves safe? Would Chris and Lichty be alive?

And yet there was still the part of him that loudly stated he'd done the only possible thing, and that he couldn't have stayed behind and still lived with himself, still been himself. Treacherous little voice, burrowing into his guilt with self assurance at odds with all of his empathy with his friends. However there was a lot of blame and guilt there, more than one small worm of self-certainty could burrow through.

What did he think? Talk about a complex question.]

Me, I think... I think I've got more part in it than I wish I had to admit. I don't know exactly what went down that day, and I don't know how much help I could have been. But I should have been there - I wish I'd been there - to help. The fact that I wasn't, and hearing about and seeing what the effects and outcome of that fight had on you guys, it...

[He sighed roughly and pushed a hand through his hair.]

I don't expect you - anyone - to understand why I went off after Saachez. I just wish it had gone differently - and not for my sake, either. I just wish I'd been around for you guys like I'm supposed to be. I know I shouldn't have gone at all, and not thinkng of you guys - of anyone - was selfish and idiotic as hell. That's why I said - I wouldn't blame you for hating me.

[He smiled, weakly. It wasn't the cheerful smiles that usually lit his face. This one was sad and wan.] Hell, I'd probably hate me too.

[nonesodangerous.livejournal.com]

[Tieria felt like he'd been punched in the gut, and it showed on his face.]

I don't hate you, Lockon! Don't you understand?!

[He spun away, hands clamped over his mouth, sick of almost saying things he would regret immediately. He really needed to get a grip, and fast.]

[lockon2urheart]

[Tieria's reaction was surprisingly vehement, and a little confusing - was the idea so distasteful? Still, it was a small comfort that there was at least a possibility of forgiveness - one that Lockon wasn't sure, at this point, that he deserved, but was grateful for. Still, the reaction was unexpected. Obviously he hadn't wanted Tieria's hate, but...

He'd stepped forward almost on instinct when Tieria span away, but had reigned himself in. He looked at Tieria's back and smiled again, a little hopeless smile.]

Unless you're about to go all parental and say you're not angry, just disappointed, I guess I don't.

[Not that he really thought that was it, he would be really surprised if Tieria wasn't even a little angry.]

[nonesodangerous.livejournal.com]

...parental? Lockon Stratos, you're unbelievable.

[The problem with pretending to be someone else physically for so long was that sometimes, it was kind of difficult to break out of their mannerisms. The problem was somewhat compounded when that "someone else" was of the opposite gender.

Especially if you were wearing a particular kind of shoes.

At least, this was Tieria's reasoning as he realized that in his hurry to put some breathing space between him and Lockon, he was flouncing away in the way only Ila could. He stopped in his tracks, pulled off his (not inexpensive) high heels, and threw them down.

He then glared at them, for good measure.]

[lockon2urheart]

[Lockon was, when all was said and done, a good person. However, he was also only human, and it really was not possible not to find Tieria's flounce amusing. Try as he might to contain his laughter as he moved to follow Tieria, a small chuckle slipped out. After that he was lost, especially with the ridiculous tableau in front of him of Tieria staring at a pair of woman's shoes as though they'd personally affronted him. Lockon slowed to a halt as he finally cracked up, the half-forgotten humour of this whole ridiculous situation returning with full force. He was really, honestly, trying to stop but failing miserably.]

[nonesodangerous.livejournal.com]

[The glare moved to focus on Lockon.]

You think this is funny? You honestly think this entire situation is humorous?

[Tieria followed his shoes and dropped to the ground. Head down, looking at the grass, his shoulders started to shake.]

[lockon2urheart]

[Lockon coughed and tried to look chastised as he reined his laughter in. However funny a feminised Tieria was, the overall situation was indeed serious. It wasn't fair, let alone right, to laugh at him for it.

Suitably sobered up - although still smiling a little, unable to fully remove it again - Lockon moved forward again towards Tieria, hoping he wasn't too upset.]

I'm sorry, Tieria, I didn't mean anything by it. It's a good disguise; you look great, that's all. I just didn't expect you to look so - authentic, I guess. I'm sorry.

[nonesodangerous.livejournal.com]

[Tieria couldn't answer him - he was still paralyzed, frame shaking fitfully, eyes focused on the ground.]

[lockon2urheart]

[That managed to fade the smile some more from Lockon's face. Had his laughter really made Tieria cry again?]

Tieria...

[He crouched down and reached for the other Meister's shoulder.]

[nonesodangerous.livejournal.com]

[He couldn't hold it in any longer. Tieria looked up at Lockon...

...and promptly burst out laughing. He quickly hid his face behind his sleeves, as if surprised at his own outburst, but he just couldn't help it.

The entire situation was ridiculous. Only weeks ago, his life as he'd known it had ended. And yet here he was now, attending high school dressed as a girl. His daily routine had changed from maintenance and training to household chores and taking down History notes. His "best friends" at school were Michael and Nena Trinity.

He'd spent days, weeks in tears, and whenever the slightest thing went wrong, he had felt like crumpling into a little ball. One catastrophe after another.

Now, just when he thought that he'd lost everything and that his life couldn't get anymore stupid - here was Lockon Stratos. The real Lockon Stratos, not the vision in his fevered dreams that he would struggle to restrain and hold back, that he would beg and plead with to stay. And what was he doing?

"Bitching him out like a total douchebag," as Mikaela would probably say.

It was absolutely ridiculous. And therefore hilarious.]

[lockon2urheart]

[Lockon blinked, momentarily stunned by the unexpected sight of Tieria's laughter. It was most definately a pleasant surprise, though, and highly welcome - and Lockon found himself responding in kind, his own grin returning in full force. A laughing, smiling Tieria under normal circumstances was novel and fantastic; right now it was practically a miracle and a sight for sore eyes.]

[nonesodangerous.livejournal.com]

[Eventually managing to control himself, Tieria fell silent, smoothing out the creases in his skirt. When he spoke again, his voice seemed small.]

I apologize. Things have been too... strange, lately.

[lockon2urheart]

[Lockon shook his head.]

Don't apologise, Tieria. It's just good to see you laugh.

[nonesodangerous.livejournal.com]

[Smiling sadly, Tieria hung his head.]

...I think you should leave.

[lockon2urheart]

[He was a little hurt by that, but he didn't let it show on his face beyond the initial flicker. It was kind of understandable, whatever headway they'd made, even if he didn't like it - so it wouldn't be fair to show how much that stung. He wasn't smiling any more, though.]

Is that what you want?

[nonesodangerous.livejournal.com]

[Tieria scowled and pulled at the grass.]

Not particularly, no. But it would definitely be best for you.

[lockon2urheart]

[Lockon raised an eyebrow.]

For me..? Why's that?

[nonesodangerous.livejournal.com]

[Tieria had been keeping an eye on the time. While it seemed like they'd only been talking for mere minutes, it was rapidly approaching the time when Ila's history class would normally be finishing.

This, in itself, wasn't much of a problem. However, the fact that "Ila van der Aart" had reacted so strangely to the mention of Lockon Stratos' name, as well the very fact that "she" knew him at all, meant that it was certainly going to be a problem.]

Because Michael Trini... no, Pemberly, is about to charge through those doors to "kick your ass" for "stealing his girlfriend".

...he'll probably be rather angry with me too, I imagine.

[He felt that air quotes helped demonstrate his point rather well.]

[lockon2urheart]

Michael- [He caught himself and dropped his voice to a murmur] - Michael Trinity? He's here?

...His girlfriend?!

[Lockon stared at him incredulously.]

...You're serious, aren't you?

[nonesodangerous.livejournal.com]

[Looking Lockon dead in the eye, Tieria's voice dropped to a deadly monotone.]

I'm not laughing anymore, am I?

[lockon2urheart]

[Lockon blinked at him again, and then looked away with a slight shake of his head and a half-laugh.]

I guess not.

[He looked back, the surprise gone from his face and expression more serious once again.]

Alright. I'll go. Wouldn't want to get you in any more trouble.

[And with that, he stood up again and offered a hand to Tieria to help him to his feet as well.]

[nonesodangerous.livejournal.com]

[Tieria took his hand, and allowed Lockon to pull him up. He staggered forward a little, but quickly righted himself.]

Thank you.

[They were slightly too close together for Tieria to be able to meet Lockon's eyes as he spoke.]